Settling down now

It's been only a week since we discovered that you, little pouch dweller, little child still yet a mass of rapidly dividing cells, are with us. What a huge week. A slow week, a week of many emotional and spiritual states.

There was some pain, my old right fallopian tube that lets me know every month when an egg is released, well its been complaining. It's my barometer, so I try to welcome it's pangs and aches, but it had me worried. After 3 trips to a hospital, which seemed so strange since I already feel pregnancy to be a state of naturalness, not something unhealthy to be treated, I got my little hormone read-out that showed my pregnancy hormones (HcG) to be doubling as they should.

I decided to work at letting the worry go, and developing trust, in my body and in you my child -- that you will grow as you should.

My belly feels so strange already, achy and tingly and sensitive. I am eating so well and farewelled my beloved booze a week ago, as easily as running my hands through water, something I have taken to doing as often as possible...swimming laps, floating, breathing. I know I'll be welcoming you into the world in water, so I want us to have as much time together in this fluid world as we can.

My dreams are still anxious, but my conscious mind is changing with you.

Mama and Papa bear in India